"Invictus" by William Earnest Henley

Out of the night that covers me, black as the pit from pole to pole.

I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance my head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears, looms but the horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate, how charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul.

Sweetness Follows

The sweet is never as sweet without the sour. Readying to bury your father and your mother, what did you think when you lost another? I used to wonder why did you bother, distanced from one, blind to the other?
Listen here my sister and my brother, what would you care if you lost the other? I always wonder why did we bother, distanced from one, deaf to the other.
It's these little things they can pull you under. Live your life filled with joy and wonder. I always knew this altogether thunder was lost in our little lives. Oh! But sweetness follows. (REM, Vanilla Sky)

Everything I say is a secret.

It's the 17th of Novemeber and it's the first day of snow

I feel like I am in limbo with the reins in my hand but my stregnth in another's. My will gains conciousness every now and then whenever a moment of truth is at test. I am at the mercy of happy fatigue, laziness and alcoholic humour. Music is not as significant at this point as it is during a high. No supplements can help or improve my condition. Just wait. People help. The phrase ' The more the merrier ' could never be more apt. It's my 21-st birthday and I feel like I am 12; that defines irony and maybe alot more. Thank you everyone for the show of love and the show. It's the 17th of Novemeber and it's the first day of snow.

Hernando Cortez

He came dancing across the water, with his galleons and guns. Looking for the new world, in that palace in the sun. On the shore lay Montezuma, with his coca leaves and pearls. In his halls he often wondered with the secrets of the worlds. And his subjects gathered around him, like the leaves around a tree, in their clothes of many colours, for the angry gods to see. And the women all were beautiful, and the men stood straight and strong. They offered life in sacrifice, so that others could go on. Hate was just a legend, and war was never known. The people worked together, and they lifted many stones. They carried them to the flatlands, and they died along the way. And they built up with their bare hands, what we still can't do today. And I know she's living there, and she loves me to this day. I still can't remember when, or how I lost my way. He came dancing across the water. Cortez, cortez. What a killer. Neil Young - Cortez the Killer.


On November 8, 1519, Cortez reached Tenochtitlan (now Mexico City) and was graciously received by Montezuma, the Aztec emperor. Soon after Cortez established headquarters in the capital, he learned that the Aztecs had plundered Veracruz. He seized Montezuma and forced him to surrender the attackers. Then he had them executed.
Meanwhile Velasquez had sent 1,400 soldiers to arrest Cortez and bring him back to Cuba. Cortez defeated this army and most of the survivors joined Cortez.
He returned to the Aztec capital, Tenochtitlan. As Cortez and his men reached the heart of the city, they were attacked by thousands of Aztec warriors. Montezuma was brought out to pacify his people, but they stoned him, and later he died of his wounds. Cortez' army was surrounded and apparently doomed, but he and three others managed to get to the chieftain of the Aztecs and killed him. Confused by this apparent "miracle," the Aztecs retreated. With fewer than 500 of his men left alive, Cortez, in July of 1520, made his way back to his Indian allies.
Cortez attacked Tenochtitlan again by ship the following May. On August 13, 1521, Guatemoc, the new Aztec emperor, surrendered. This was the end of the great empire of the Aztecs. (Thinkquest.org)

Height of desperation and blue coal..

This is the blue coal. Ever seen anything like this? I doubt it. How did it happen? On that night was coined together the infamous-phrase-to-be, blue hot coal. But I call it kryptonite. Anyways, the answer to the question about how this came to pass is obviously, " it's a long story... " and under most circumstances that means, 'I'll tell you later' OR ' I don't want to tell you'. I will try and share.

The story starts in a land far far away, where there were four sheeshas in one building. Every day and every nightthe sheeshas would parade in their shining armour, as the green fire of envy burned with increasing zeal in the hearts of ciggarettes and bongs. Okay, maybe not bongs but you get my drift; other such devices. As it turned out... (I'm sorry only one phrase can explain what happened to the sheeshas)... un ko nazar lag gayee. Yes. They were struck by the sight. One by one they fell. One was pummeled down by a football flying in from 5 yards off. Another just slipped and fell. The third one just sucked as it was, that leaves us with the last one. The saviour, the 'One'.
Unfortunately, today, the one met the grim reaper as its heart, the bowl, fell on the floor and disintegrated into infinite, non-glue-backable pieces, some still attached to the foil and some not even acknoledging what they were. We thought that that was the end of the road... and this road was not even yellow-bricked.
Note: Manchester United sucks.
Necessity is the mother of invention. It is the father of discovery. And a glimmer of hope. Which is why when we dug and dug under the tree of lost cause, we found the most amazing coal; blue coal! And when that magic was lit, it glowed in neon. Then a sheesha was pieced together comprising of a shitty bowl, shitty structure and a bottle of water. No working pipe would fit in the structure. Desprate as everyone was, it was decided that we shall smoke it direct... eventually for the first and last time. But no superman dieing or any of that crap. And it was apple flavour.

Good vs. Evil

Now you will recieve us! We do not ask for your poor or your hungry. We do not want your tired and sick. It is your corrupt we claim! It is your evil that will be sought by us. With every breath we shall hunt them down. Each day we will spill their blood, 'till it rains down from the skies! Do not kill, do not rape, do not steal. These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace! These are not polite suggestions. These are codes of behavior and those of you that ignore them will pay the dearest cost! There are varying degrees of evil. We urge you lesser forms of filth, not to push the bounds and cross over, into true corruption, into our domain. For if you do, one day you will look behind you and you will see we three and on that day YOU WILL REPENT! And will send you to whatever god you wish.

And shepherds we shall be, for thee my Lord for thee, power hath descended forth from thy hand, that our feet may swiftly carry out thy command. We shall flow a river forth to thee, and teeming with souls shall it ever be. In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti

- The Boondock Saints

Time is NOT Money, is it?

I dropped my soap in the shower today. Ha ha :P. I actually dropped it, don't let your minds wander. And even if they do wander, let it be known that I did not bend down to pick it up. As the soap was almost done, I let it go down the drain :).
I finally had some pizza after a long time. After more than ten years I would estimate. And I won't say that I'm ok with it, I just won't throw up when I have it next time. It's funny, no one knew I do not eat pizzas... no one pressurized me and it smelt good, so I had a slice. I'm so proud. So yea I won't feel like an outcast the next time we go to pizzaButt. Haha I can actually see that food chain in Lahore, PizzaButt or Butt Pizza.. inspired from the infamous Butt Sweets and not to forget the Traffic Police warning sign "Speed thrills, Butt kills". Priceless.
I'd like to point out one more thing. Murti's blog inspired me to write more and more about my daily experiences. Or weekly experiences. I've never done that before. So yea, we're growning up from being little boys to big girls, all thanks to my friend.
Time is money everyone says. But money doesn't haunt you, time does. When you've got nothing to do, time haunts. Makes you do things that you'll regret later on. Like putting out cigarette-butts on your arm. Using toothpaste to ease the pain and wondering 'why?!'.
In fact, time and money are like opposittes. Money haunts you when you don't have any and time does when its in plethora.
I have to renew my passport, so I had to go get some photographs taken. While I was waiting at the counter, this guy was looking at his pictures. My curious eye fell on the stack of pictures in his hand and I saw a figure adorned in purple sunglasses and a black leather jacket. Bono. Pictures from a U2 concert. Up to this day I have not felt bad about not buying insanely over-priced (black) tickets, but today it all changed. One last tour is what I'm going to hope for and then that stack will be in my hands. Muahaha.
'Time' to go spend 'Money' on food. :)

understanding reality

Day: one of the last few days of Ramadan
Time: right after a full stomach ( sehry )
Music: vital signs - ajnabi
Activity: None .. hence the blog


Too much's going on. So much that I loose count. I've never used an organizer, always relied on memory to do the job. My brain has not let me down so far, but I guess it's about time I stop testing it. Tomorrow I shall organize and I'll make a 'mental' note of that right now:).
One thing I've realized, as long as there is food to eat not living at home is fine. Cats meow, dogs bark and humans talk. Cats, dogs and humans walk. Aloo parathas without dahee are not worth eating. Someone just called me an asshole. There's a half empty pack of pringles on my desk and I am tempted. Nobody knows me properly. I don't either. I have a class in 6 hours and already I'm thinking about skipping it. Life has not changed much back home. I don't miss much. Don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. People think alot has changed, it has not... nothing that would not have happened has not happened. Life has followed the pattern it was on, nothing out of the ordinary has happened. Nothing that I can't see happening has not happened. You obviously don't get my drift. The poster with pink floyd albums painted on girls' backs is old now. I will watch the Boondock Saints tomorrow for the Nth time. I will try and count sheep as I go to sleep tonight. Fuck this sounds like real blog, I'm letting myself down. I'll go drown in evaporated water...

Did you know?

Edicius is suicide spelt backwards.

Three red lights in the dark sky

In my rearview mirror, the sun is going down. Sinking behind the bridges in the road. And I think of all the good things, that we have left undone. And I suffer premonitions, confirm suspicions of the holocaust to come.
The rusty wire that holds the cork, that keeps the anger in, gives way. And suddenly it's day again. The sun is in the east, even though the day is done. Two suns in the sunset. Hmmmm... could be the human race is run.
Like the moment when the brakes lock, and you slide towards the big truck "oh no!". You stretch frozen moments with your fear. And you'll never hear their voices "Daddy, Daddy!". And you'll never see their faces, you have no recourse to the law anymore.
And as the windshield melts, my tears evaporate, leaving only charcoal to defend. Finally I understand the feelings of the few. Ashes and diamonds. Foe and friend. We were all equal in the end.

Pink Floyd - Two suns in the sunset (The Final Cut)

Yarian

The Begining

Cauliflower A : "Oye!... (someone turns around) haha tumhara naam oye hai?"

Cauliflower B : "Your Mom"

Cauliflower A : "Gay"

Cauliflower B : "If you were a girl your name would be Laura"

Cauliflower A : "If you were a guy your name would be Mazhar Fakhar"

Cauliflower B : "cow-thief"

Caulifower A : "bhenson"

Cauliflower B : " *****"

Cauliflower C : "Let's go for poondi"

Cauliflower A (to B) : "Aloo kay parathay"

Cauliflower B : "Jalebi"

Cauliflower F : "Let's go race"

Cauliflower A : "Why don't we go to your house HUH HUH?!?!"

Cauliflower B : "Yea, let's go race, cheer for me A"

Cauliflower REF : "On your marks, get set, Go!!"

Cauliflower B,C,D,E,F.....Z : "Huff" and "Puff"

Cauliflower A : "GO B! GOBEE! GO B! GOBEE!"

The End

of patterns and pick-up trucks

dammit... it's 2 :14 am to be exact, this font that I'm typing in is funny. It would be awesome if my handwriting was even half as good as this shit. Screw that, I wish my handwriting was legible. Actually no, screw that... my handwritten blogs are too personal. Yes, I keep a diary.
....... Yea, I'm sorry.. I'm suck at lieing when I'm typing. To think of it that's ridiculous, I mean you don't even have to keep a straight face. You know, a straight face like that of a man who lends his voice to a documentary. Which reminds me, I don't understand these producers, they all use the sleep-inducing voice. Suckers. Imagine if doctor evil did a documentary...

"The pengiuns like to stick together through thick but not thin, experts like to argue that it's something that comes to them naturally, but after my short yet hair-raising (double pun*) research I came to the conclusion that it's just plain common sense that tells them not walk and then drown on thin ice as a group . Gives penguins a bad name. Just as bad cause the 'experts' failed to use that very common sense to reach to their conclusions.
Anyways, enough's enough, Austin Powers we know that you're not hot but you still get the chicks, wow I am jealous. I can't believe that people can watch us tussle it out a fourth time. Anyways I am in the south pole, having unlimited supply of snow-cones, using up the worlds water... stop me if you can. Santa Clause is on the north pole. Emphasis 'on'. It's September, so he's probably in his red thermal boxers smoking crack, or dealing it to the kids at school... "I know who's been a bad boy/girl this year huan huan (snicker)".. I hate him, he's fat and old and popular with the chicks too. But the real reason I hate him is not the fact that, apparently, the girls love him but the fact that he's such a big show-off about it.. "hoe hoe hoe.." .. such a pimpster. Guy needs 7 deers. And then there's the Rat with the Ninja turtles. Guy needs to loosen up, guy needs 7 beers. That rhymes... beautiful poetry... bootyful as santa would say.
Anyways I'm on tv...and it's time to the put my pinky on my lips"

.... that would suck too.
* Double-pun because a)........ I dunno I've lost track of the topic and b) cause I have no hair ha!

Talking about patterns. When I write my book, not so pointless it will be, it will be greatly influenced by the idea of patterns. Mind you not a dupatta pattern. That I will talk about in my other book. But in this one I would like to emphasize on the fact that there's a pattern in everything, you've just got to find it. It's on the tarmac on the road. There's a pattern for infinite variables with infinite variables. Like how rain-water sometimes lands on some parts of you at one time and the next time on other parts. The way in which the floor is crack, the trees shed leaves, the tiles in the bathroom (that pattern is probably planned)... and so on.
Stop. Enough random philosophy. A 'B-' in intro to philosophy means that you shouldn't think. Screw that, I think therefore I am. Ha! I quote De Cartes to the Philosophy that disowned me. Bloody class participation marks.

Ok cheer up time. Random-on-the-spot-madeup-joke-time. OK. There are these people who are friends. One of them is a stoner. Stoner leaves. And then one of the other friends becomes the stoner's replacement. One fine evening another friend catches neo-stoner roasting a roach, and he asks him ' dude what's up with that? ' . And neo-stoner says, refering to the departed, "someone's got to replace his 'high'ness ".... I am so good. I wish I was as good as boasting about the fact that I am this good.

Speaking of pick-up trucks... picture this [and I don't mean to plagiarise so I'm mentioning before hand the dialogue has heavy influence from the beavis and butthead show] ..pick-up truck driver's pick-up line.. "Hey .. get out of my dreams and into my car baby.." Which reminds me, I once knew this guy who went to return his pick-up truck after this girl turned him down, he said the truck didn't work.
Clearly, there isn't much to say to that because I just made the story up. But I'm hoping one of my friends does something like that, so that I can erase these last two lines.

I feel like having Sprite. Wait. Pause. It probably sucks for you guys because my blog is so stationary... so not in tune with time and space. There's no mention of how the day went, or what's happening, or what will happen. I mean if the clock didn't tick or if it moved too fast, it would not effect in any way on what I have written. Even if I had been writing this very thing at a different point in time.

But I'll not stick to conventions and mention that someone said today that "it's in our minds". And I don't know if he just randomly said those words or if he was actually thinking about it. Philosophy.

My mind is dry, I'm out of ideas. I'm no more in the hub of creativity. Random thoughts don't just come to me anymore, I've got to try and seek them out now. Sucks. Guy struggles. Guy needs 7 cheers. I'm leaving now.. high and dry.

Holiday - Doktor Kosmos

Holiday x2
It's the best day
The Ice-cream day
I am only happy
When I have
Holiday ... x6 (fade out)

Over the Hills and Far Away

Hey lady--you got the love I need

Maybe more than enough.

Oh darling... walk a while with me

Ooh, you’ve got so much...

*

Many times I loved

Many times been bitten

Many times I’ve gazed

Along the open road.

*

Many times I’ve lied

Many times I’ve listened

Many times I’ve wondered

How much there is to know.

*

Many dreams come true

And some have silver linings

I live for my dream

And a pocketful of gold.

*

Mellow is the man

Who knows what he’s been missing

Many many men

Can’t see the open road.

*

Many is a word

That only leaves you guessing

Guessing ’bout a thing

You really ought to know, ooh!

You really ought to know

I really ought to know!

Oooh, you know I should, you know I should, you know I should...

***

Led Zeppelin

Tickle Tackle

Here's a list of the top 5 most loserish things that you could do if you have all the time in the world and no other obligation to tend to.

5. Count your fingernails. First forwards, then backwards. Repeat.

4. Blog

3. Watching Mtv Jackass. [I dig #3]

2. Invent a time machine and/or watch bahria town commercials on tv.

1.5 Model for Bahria Town commercial.

1.[ Hands down winner... the reason why I did the number 4-blog- on this list]. Edit your orkut profile, and to fill up the "Music" section, list all the god damn artists that exist in your iPod. In alphabetical order. My cousin is the ultimate loser.... and I am not. I am so proud!!

p.s. Chewy is dead. He jumped off the backseat and into the trunk.

p.p.s. Mobile fones with cameras are gay.

p.p.p.s. Even if my cousin was not the ultimate loser, it would not be me.

p.p.p.p.s. I've heard that murti is a fruitcake.

p.p.p.p.p.s. Tututu encapsulates bassam's idiocy.

An excerpt from a script...

One of the many magical moments in the movie. If you read this with the songs mentioned in the script, in the background, you can actually see the movie and be mesmerized. And if you look hard enough, you can see your entire future.

INT. WILLIAM'S BEDROOM - DAY

William finishes the last of many candy bars. A mound of wrappers sit just below the mirror. He examines his face hopefully for zits. Nothing coming. We begin to hear Simon and Garfunkel's "America."

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

Anita stands in the living room. The song continues playing on the stereo.

ANITA (Elder sister)

I want to play you a song that explains why I'm leaving, and try to listen.

ELAINE (Mother)

We can't talk? We have to listen to rock music?

EXT. FRONT LAWN - DAY

William watches sadly. Anita's good-looking boyfriend DARRYL, a dead ringer for young Stephen Stills, loads her suitcases into a large turqouise Chevy. The suitcases are adorned with plastic stick-on flowers. All coolness is leaving William's life. Mom watches nearby, worried and helpless. (Their house is more austere, less "fun" than the other front lawns.)

WILLIAM

Take good care of her in San Francisco, man.

Darryl gives the kid a sub-human look. He's invisible, too young to converse with.

ELAINE

How can she leave such a loving family?

Anita turns and heads towards them. She focuses on William, placing her hands on his young shoulders. Her face is very close to him now, as she delivers this sage prediction of the future.

ANITA

One day you'll be cool.

He nods stoically, hopefully. He is utterly lost. She leans forward and whispers in his ear.

ANITA

Look under your bed. It'll set you free.

Anita shakes hands with Mom, and exits. As the car takes off:

ELAINE

She'll be back.

In the distance we hear the whoop of her daughter.

ANITA

YEAHHHHH-HOOOOOOOO.

ELAINE

Maybe not soon...

William watches wistfully. He moves away from his mother. She pulls him closer. Shot moves in on his slightly fearful face.

INT. DARRYL'S CAR - DAY

Anita looks back at the receding American Gothic-image of her mother and brother. Sister waves to brother. She feels for him. Music now shifts to The Who's "Sparks."

INT. BEDROOOM - NIGHT

William locks the door. He reaches under his bed. It's a black leatherette travel bag, with tartan design. He unzips the bag--it's filled with albums. He flips through the amazing, subversive cache of music. Cream's Wheels of Fire... the seminal Bob Dylan bootleg Great White Wonder... the Rolling Stones' Get Yer Ya Ya's Out... The Beach Boys' Pet Sounds... Abraxas by Santana... Jethro Tull's Stand Up... The Mother's of Invention's We're Only In It For The Money... Led Zeppelin... Crosby, Stills and Nash... Miles Davis' Bitches Brew... and The Who's Tommy... with a note taped to it.

ANITA (V.O.)

"Listen to Tommy with a candle burning and you will see your entire future..."

The heady effect of all these albums registers, as we see him lighting a candle.

- Cameron Crowe, Almost Famous (2000)

Food for thought

I write this because I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and eat something. Make it or just pull it out of the fridge. I'm starved. And I'm begining to realise that food for thought will not stop my stomach from growling... so screw it. Drew (Carey) it. Brew (Murree) it. I'm goin' down. Black-hawk down.

Pilot : "Mayday mayday ahhhhhhh...."
Genral : " God dammit it's the middle of June here!"
Pilot : " So?!"
Genral : " SO!??!?! Don't So me... SUE me... it's Juneday"
Pilot : "Just bloodywell help me you bastard, I'm about to die here!!"
Genral : " Too bad! That's what you signed up for, your job. Just try and save the plane will ya?... Atleast you won't be So-ing me anymore"
Pilot : " But sir sir sir! Cycle wala is point per aa kar kya karay ga??"
Genral : " errrrrrrrrnnnnnnnn Kartab dikhaye ga aur kya karay ga!!"

Doof for thought..

One, Two. Buckle my shoe.

Three, Four. This is my new look.

Five, Six. P.T.O.

Seven, Eight. Napoleon Dynamite

Nine, Ten. Sitting on PC no. 7 in eLab.

Eleven, Twelve. Go look under the mousepad there is a treasure-map.

Thirteen. Thirteen do. Thirteeen do me count count, your wait . Come piya, comming spring.

P.S. haha gotcha!! [ That is IF and only IF you left this blog and went to Elab to check under mousepad OR IF you thought about doing it after reading the 'P.S.']

Facts of Life => fact of the day 2 [Cortez the killer]

Note : This, for once, is a serious post. Don't expect any wisecracks. Don't expect any cracks either.

It has come to my notice that most of my readers feel that my blog postings are too long. Let me take you through my thought process. Basically........................ . See, nothing special. Nothing rational. I'll tell you where my blogs come from. During that part of the day (night) when I want to sleep but I can't and there's nothing else to do, I blog. I blog till I can't keep my eyes open. Do not try this at home; work's best in school. So you see the fact of the day is not that I blog myself to sleep, the fact of the day is that I am funny and my blogs are funny. (Not this one though, clearly).

When I first met you

Didn't realize

I can't forget you

For your surprise

You introduced me

To my mind

And left me wanting

You and your kind

Black Sabbath - Sweet Leaf

Peace...