Stab the dog

MMM: The dog snores
Me: stab it
MMM: All in good time. I just need to win over its trust first. Then 'meat infront of a car on the road' will come in play. But zk says you need to chill and get a gf with a dog and then you will fall in love with the dog more than the gf. And then she will stab you.
Me: always count on zk to give the wrong advice. but then again you could stab the gf and throw her infront of the car and then you'll have your 'meat in front of a car on the road' play.

The hate for dogs is not without good reason. Let's say that there was a dog called snuffles. Snuffles was a bitch by definition and otherwise. I was asleep on a sofa-bed, at peace with the fact that the dog was locked outside and did not possess the physical means of rising to the height of the door handle and opening the door. I was wrong.
Oblivious to the cruel prospects that would potentially await me, I was blissfully relaxing under the shade of an apple tree with warm waters wetting my feet. I quickly realized that my feet were a bit too wet for my liking, so I pulled them out of the water. But the water followed my feet whereever they went. The level of discomfort forced me out of my slumber only to be shocked by the sight of Snuffles on the sofa-bed licking away at my feet as if it were a piece of t-bone steak that she would soon devour.
As a result of the shock my impulsive reaction was kick the dog as hard as I could. Realizing that such an act would prompt a retaliation from the beast, I jumped up and threw my blanket on the animal and kicked it a few more times so as to immobilize it. By now I was a sure shot mortal enemy; no reconcialation would be possible. After my sporadic attack on Snuffles I ran out of the room and closed the door behind, only to realized that I had locked myself out. The other two doors that faced me were locked too. I had to spend the rest of the night in the gallery, as amidst all the excitement and shock I had left my cellphone by the sofa-bed side. I was cold and without a means of communication. Stupid bitch!