Are you fasting? I'm slowing. This year I've only slowed, not fasted. I guess I'll have to quick later on in the year sometime to make up for all the slowing I've done so far. But I'm very lazy. It's hard enough for me as it is. I put off everything till tomorrow whenever possible. And it's not a pleasant thought to be putting the fasting off to the afterlife. I mean if it's possible tomorrow, then I'll do it tomorrow. If it's possible much much later... well you get the picture.
Sinner!! They say.
I hear, I try. I try to obey.
Strength and Honour, and Courage they say.
Mighty words they are, but maybe not today.
If not, then tomorrow will you pay?
Would you rather take on the world in haste and gamble your life away?
Je suis tres faime, je veux manger une grande petite dejeuner.
Frog Racing. That's what I was trying to get to. But somehow I drifted away from the desired topic. Maybe it's because frogs are frowned upon (are they?).
Today's lesson will be on Frog Racing. What you will need:
(i) Frog I
(ii)Frog II
(..)............
(n) Frog N
(n+1) A big pot for N number of Frogs
Instructions:
(-) Fill pot with water.
(-) Catch Frog I and put it in the pot
(-) Catch Frog II upto Frog N and put them in the pot also.
(-) Make sure each frog is differentiable or has a limit which exists when x approaches infinity(math joke)
(-) Find N-1 friends or partners in crime. Each person picks a Frog. Remember to pick first.
(-)Pick the smallest Frog. The big ones don't like to move.
(-)The race track should be straight and not meandering. A non-straight race track will result in chaos and confusion and an inevitable Frog death.
(-) Line up with Frogs in hand. On the signal put the Frog down.
(-) This is where it gets tricky. Guide the Frog (make it hop in a straight line) by stepping on either side of the Frog. This technique fulfills two purposes. The Frog does not deviate from the path and the Frog is too scared shitless to deviate from the path so it makes a real dash for it.
(-) Please do not deviate from the path yourself. There may be casualties.
(-) First to reach finish-line wins.
(-) [optional] If you loose, bitch about the track being too soft.
(-) Let the winner go free. Toss the rest back in the pot with water.
(-) Make Frog soup.
(-) Realize half-way that Frog is not Halal meat.
(-) If any Frogs are still alive, toss them into the pond.
(-) If any Frogs are dead then.... inalillahi wa inalillahi rajioun.
(-) Practice makes perfect. Do it as often as possible.
Moral of the story is, don't go too fast or you'll get a speeding ticket.
3 comments:
1)frog isn't halal meat? :O
2) technical error. if you have (n-1) partners in crime, who pots the nth frog?
3) if you step on the frog and squash it, do you go to hell?
4) if the limit goes to infinity, ca you play the game foreverrrrr? :)
4) suggestions:
- give the frog blinders and go to heawen.
- slow and steady doesn't win the race in this case, but saves the frog
- thus, turtles would be a more sustainable choice for racer!
(1) I don't know
(2)If you have n-1 partners in crime, then YOU are the Nth criminal
(3) Math joke
(4) Turtles race with rabbits, not with amateurs.
how clawwer. :)
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