Sattire Attire Part IV: Social Geography

"My God she's the one, Dmitri" said our hero for the nth time. Dmitri kept adding sugar to his coffee, so that his horrendous tasting drink would take his mind off his friend's unending nonsense.
"What do you think?" inquired our hero.
"I think I wish this coffee were Irish" uttered Dmitri with an obvious hint of frustration.
"What? She's Irish? I've always loved Ireland..." and he went on to describe his love for Ireland.
The most knowledge he'd had about the land was derived from the movie called Braveheart, and that movie was about Scotland.
I should have kept quiet, thought Dmitri, this is a pointless crusade.
"...white houses with blue doors stationed on hilltops overlooking the sapphire Mediterranean sea.." went on our hero, now describing the south of Greece.
"The Mediterranean sea!? That's between southern Europe and North Africa! And no where near Ireland!" voiced Dmitri in his voice of logic and reason.
"Oh but in my heart everything is a metaphor, everything beautiful is one and the same. It is all Ireland for now. Just as we are one and the same. Me and my Bella" Our hero said in his voice of treason.
"Bella isn't even an Irish name!" voiced Dmitri some more.
"Oh so she IS Irish?"
Dmitri poured some salt into his coffee and then he said with strained politeness,
"Remember what I told you about the mirage and the desert?"
"Well I remember you telling me about a desert and a mirage, I don't exactly remember what though. But there are no desserts in Ireland, there are some, though, in Northern Africa. You mean to say that she's from there and that she's not Irish?"
"In your language of metaphors, yes. Yes, she is from the desert. Your whole life is a journey through that desert. You see her and you are drawn to the idea of her. The journey has made you thirsty, and in your suffering you see an oasis which is not your... destination. Or if I may put it more poetically, your destiny." said Dmitri, trying very hard to maintain character.
"Can we call it destiny-tion then?" Our hero, ever reliable in his stupidity.
Dmitri took a sip of his coffee, which by now contained a considerable amount of sugar, salt, pepper, pancake syrup and soup. He winced and shrugged off the bad tasting coffee and comment. He then got up and walked out of the diner.